It has just dawned on me that my long term goals have been pushed aside these last few months. And to be honest I can't afford to be doing that. If I want to get into drama school, which I do! Then I need to get practising and learning my monologues, I need to be perfection... I need to be more than perfection.
Impossible? most probably.
But having this full-time job and a part-time job is tiring me out. Draining me.
And the saddest thing is I have absolutely no money to show for it... ridiculous
Also as I'm going to university this year that is on my mind. I'm scared I am going to waste a year there, on the other hand I don't want to be working a full-time job all year whilst trying to do some training which I won't have the time for/be able to afford. A vicious circle. Frustrating to say the least!
My motivation (sticking to the title) has gone out of the window. Each year I have changed my career path and this has led me to not fully knowing what I want.
I'm not the worst academic and I am quite creative at the same time, and so this leaves me in a mess.
Obviously I prefer the creative side to me, but this requires dedication and commitment which I am lacking. Most people have one side of their brain active and the other one barely gets used. I am within the minute population who uses both sides equally. I think logically, but when I need to I go to the other side where I act and write and sing.
At the moment I'm trying to make myself feel better by saying that I am doing things little by little to encourage myself into full blown commitment.
I have started the gym, which will hopefully get me fit/toned/slim and give me more confidence to know I have a chance in the acting world.
I try and blog as often as possible, but now a days that isn't that much.
I have been waking up earlier even on my days off which gives me a more positive feeling in the mornings.
I think most of all, having nothing to look forward too is killing me.
I don't have any money to plan a trip/book an acting course/book a holiday or even treat myself to some new jeans (which I am in need of).
All in all, my balance is off set to negative rather than positive at the moment, and I am trying my best to get and stay positive.
If you have any tips on staying positive and motivated. PLEASE, let me know! haha